On Learning To Be A Little More Selfish & A Little Less Hard On Myself

1. On learning to be a little more selfish

What factors do you consider when attempting to make life decisions? What do you keep in mind when considering important "moves"? How much of the final decision is actually yours?
When I look back on some of the major decisions I've made, I don't see that much of me in them, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. If I didn't make those decisions for myself then for who/whom [ugh, my grammar sometimes]?
I guess to be fair I haven't had to make that many important decisions. I guess the biggest ones so far?
1. Where to attend high school
2. Where to attend college
3. what to study in college
4. Grad school or no grad school?
I chose a good high school, I chose a great university (although I didn't think so at the time), & I chose what I believe to be the perfect major for me.
I think my biggest screw up so far was deciding on "no grad school." But I guess in my defense I needed a break. 17 straight years of school? Like can I relax for a bit? And most of those years were pretty overwhelming! But I guess when I look back at it now uhhh I'd rather be up writing papers all night in some campus library than folding tanks tops & running "go backs."
I guess where I am not being selfish enough is in the decisions I have yet to make - the decisions that will help me get out of the situation i'm in.
Why haven't I seriously considered moving out of state? Wouldn't that be one of the best moves I could make? New York City is "bringing me down", its draining my bank account. I love it, but I just can't afford to be here right now. so why not leave? Am I thinking too much about missing my friends? Am I thinking too much about missing this city that completely draining in so many ways? I know for a fact that most of the people in my life would make what they considered the best decision for them without hesitation. Isn't that the smartest thing to do? Why am I always so willing to put myself on the back burner?

that being said. . .

2. On Learning to be a little less hard on myself
I don't think there is anyone more critical of me than me. If it was up to me I don't think I would exist.
I don't know where this distorted self image comes from, but I feel like I've always had it. I guess maybe it developed some time during my awkward teen years. Maybe I'm stuck in this like perpetual "awkward teen year"
The very few times that I was able to step outside of myself & look at the things i've done in my 23 years I've been pretty pleased, but I will always think I've never done enough. I will always feel like I am incapable of doing more. I need to find a way to move forward. I need to have a more positive self image.I'm not sure if this is something that will come with time.
I've just got to start believing that I am not all that bad. I'm pretty okay right?