Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A [Blind?] Leap of Faith

It was as if the universe was just waiting for me to finally take things into my own hands. He/She/It wanted me to stop talking, take a quick break from the planning, and actually DO something...so I did...and so it did.

What drives someone to quit their job at 4am with no backup plan? - no money saved (which i still cant believe) & no job lined up?
I wouldn't even advise my worst enemy to do such a thing, but I did it & it was not the smartest move i've ever made,but it was a move & thats what counts right?
I was scared, and then I was anxious, and then there was the regret and the panic! the "what am i going to do now?", "how long before i run out of money?", "what happens when I run out of episodes of Psych, The Office, & 30 rock?" How cruel would unemployment be to me this time??
After the panic came the realization that the move I made, while kind of stupid, was just what I needed. I'd been telling myself for days that I had to do something drastic & the universe agreed. Driven by professional frustration & a need to get out of a 15 month rut I resigned.

I kind of had to trick myself into believing that everything would be okay - everything would work out. I only kinda sorta believed it at first.
I then told the universe that if He/She/It would take the wheel from here I would be eternally grateful, eternally thankful - forever in its debt.

But first! I had to put some more work in...

What drives a person to submit a bunch of online applications & send out a couple resumes at 7am?
[I guess the same thing that drives a person to resign from a job at 4am, yeah?]


so check this out!

7am: complete & submit application at __________.com
8am: finally fall asleep after working 8pm-4am, getting home at 6am, [panicked] job hunting, & breakfast making
10:30am: get woken up by a call from the aforementioned _____________ & having a quick phone interview where a second interview is scheduled

really universe? results? already? I was so grateful.

Cut to the next day.
(only 34 hours after resigning from the only job I was able to get fresh out of college**.)

A nervous & desperate yet confident me getting interviewed...& hired!

What universe?? now you're just showing off! How can I ever repay you?!

I don't think anyone I frantically tex'd (an acceptable past tense form of text - google it) or emailed that night would have thought things would turn around for me as quickly as they did - I still can't believe it. Its like this whirlwind! Luckily I have the week to recover.

I'm so so so ready to start over & I'm glad its happening so soon.
I'm gonna use this new opportunity to plan better: more saving, grad school apps, etc...

I haven't felt this excited or motivated in a ridiculously long time.

Its...refreshing.


** & to that place i have to say "its been real. maybe a little too real."

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