Dictionary.com -[my main source for most definitions - defines [the adjective] average as "typical, common, ordinary..." or you know "nothing special."
I just completed an untimed practice GRE test on princetonreview.com & while I was expecting a much, much, much worse score than what I received, I was pretty disappointed by how average it was: Verbal - 150, Math - 147*
I was expecting a below average score for my math, but such an average score for my verbal? Reading & writing & vocab & all that jazz is kinda sorta my thing, I mean come on!
So now I have 3 days to to get my scores from average to above average. Is that even something that is possible for me?
I know for a fact that I have been average my entire academic career & while I guess there isn't necessarily anything wrong with being average, there definitely is something wrong with my contentment with being average. I never wanted to fail at anything - never liked it, never will - but I don't ever really remember failing a test or a paper and feeling distraught about it ya know? Of course there were the subjects and classes that were somewhat effortless to me, but then there were the courses I needed to put the extra work into & I can't recall ever really doing that - If I was failing a class then I pretty much aimed to get a D, If I had a D in a class then I was pretty darn content with that.
I took Italian for 6 years & if I were to be picked up from this bed & dropped in the center of Rome you'd probably never hear from me again because I'd probably get lost in a fountain somewhere because my Italian is terrible & that is completely my fault. I never put the work in. I should speak/write fluent Italian but I don't because I was sooo content with just passing. I was just so content with knowing what I needed to know when I needed to know it and then just casting it aside.
Is it just in my nature to be this way? Why not strive to be extraordinary? Why not put all the effort in ya know?
This contentment as undoubtedly carried over to my job hunting. I don't think I'm going above and beyond. Am I writing the best cover letter ever written? - not at all. Am I still applying and sending resumes every single day? no and thats because right now as long as I'm working I'm not really feeling the pressure.
But shouldn't I always be feeling the pressure?
Isn't that the only way to get everything you want in life??? To push yourself? To put all of your energy into the things you want?
I talk a lot about changing how I think, how I feel, how I go about my day to day, how I go about getting the things I desire most and I've been crawling and taking a few baby steps but I've been doing that for awhile. I should be sprinting by now right? or at the very least speed walking ::nods::
so I'll start with stepping my GRE game up. I have the next couple of days to get through as many practice questions and tests as possible. Trying to get this done despite my hectic work schedule is gonna be tough but...
Yea
So i'll be a lil too busy to blog until afterrrrrr test time so
wish me luck!
*The GRE is graded on a 130-170 scale & 0-6 for the essays
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