& then i thought "i don't want to move anymore..."

I've got cold feet.

I spent the day sunning, eating, relaxing, talking, thinking with one of my best friends since i was like 15.
It was a gorgeous day in NYC & we decided to spend it in East River Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Have you ever been there? Its one of the best places to be on a day like today was - so close to the water, so perfect for people watching & wine sipping...

There was something about today - about where I was, about who I was with - that made me think that I was making a hugeeee mistake.
I was so comfortable in that park, so comfortable with my friend, so comfortable with new york city.

Why am I leaving?

I was sitting there, on that sheet, looking around at all the different kinds of people that surrounded me, thinking I don't want to move anymore.

This is typical me.

I'm just a little scared I think. A little nervous? Afraid of the unknown? Of the future?
Today was one of those rare days when NYC doesn't bring me down.

It is fact that I need to leave New York, if only for a little while & I guess 2 years is just a little while.
On any other day there is something about being here that makes me want to run far away, as fast as I can.
Its not that I don't love it, I just feel stuck.

The truth is I absolutely need this move & that is why I applied to grad school in the first place, that is why I applied to a school out of this city, out of this state.

I guess the closer I get to August, the more anxious I'm going to get & its easy for me to just say okay I don't want to leave anymore I'm going to stay here where I am safe...
Its all a very vicious cycle. This is exactly why I need to leave. If I continue to be content with just how content I am then I'm never going to get anywhere, never going to accomplish the things I really want to accomplish.

I've gotta go.

I am going...

...I just wish I could take all my friends with me.

7weeks.

p.s.
have you ever just been chillin' in the park & have a family of geese just stroll on through? they were so cute. i couldn't resist but to get as close as possible...but not too close. in case of an attack. i'm glad b2 was able to capture the moment.