"you think you know, but you have no idea..."

so i've been working on this new york related post for a couple of days now, but i just couldn't get it right so i just haven't posted it.
i just erased the entire thing & im gonna start over right now.
this post is my reaction to the reactions of the empire state building shooting this morning.

any shooting is terrible. like...duh. any shooting that results in casualties is most obviously a tragedy...but something so much more tragic has happened in other states & cities around the world that what im seeing on cnn & even on facebook/twitter etc...is kind of
for a lack of a better term
annoying?

i'm a born & raised new yorker & i am as loyal as can be. i know what happens in that city everyday & i was never ever really scared. you can't live like that. i grew up in the bronx for goodness sake - what happened at the empire state building this morning happens in some parts of the bronx almost every day - and brooklyn & queens.

so now all of a sudden this happens in manhattan and cnn would like us all to believe that this is 9/11 come again. theres an eyewitness calling in saying that her parents thought she was crazy for moving to nyc after 9/11...really? where should she have moved? its been yearssss since something like this has happened in manhattan and based on what we've been seeing in the news over the past weeks, months, years it seems that no small town, city, state is really safe anymore.

if you're a real new yorker i can't even believe that this isolated incident would have you running scared. depending on where you live in this city you could be just at your local bodega buying bread & suddenly be in the middle of a shoot out.

just weeks ago a 4yr old was shot dead at a playground & i didn't see it all over cnn. i didn't see everyone saying how it was time for them to flee the city. if there ever was a reason to want to leave anywhere it'd be because children aren't safe at playgrounds anymore.

watching cnn report this shooting right now is almost sickening. she actually just said "the sound of a flatbed truck going over a manhole is enough to give people flashbacks of 9/11"...ummm that has NEVER happened to me...ever. i don't know what you're talking about lady on cnn but i actually feel pretty safe when i'm walking around the city.

according to the reports this man went after 1 person & ended up getting others in the process. within minutes he was shot dead by police officers.
that response time alone shows just how much safer nyc is now than it has ever been.

i think if this shooting had happened maybe 2 blocks over it wouldn't be news
but i think since this did happen in front of the empire state building that news sources everywhere were just waiting for the thumbs up that they could link this to terrorism and spend the next 10hours trying to scare everyone out of new york.

this post was originally going to be about some absurd new york related conversations i overheard on the "T" all week & about how this one guy actually tried to sum up new york city in the most stereotypical way possible...but all of that is really reflected in the reactions im seeing to this shooting that took place just hours ago.

new yorkers, in the grand scheme of things you guys are all relatively safe. 50 people are killed in chicago almost every weekend. that hasn't happened in new york city in a verrrrry long time.
this wasn't a terrorist attack. it seems it was actually a very isolated incident. despite what cnn wants you to think, you shouldn't be having 9/11 flashbacks right now.

as im typing this mayor bloomberg is on my tv screen saying that some of the victims were probably shot by nypd officers
so this isn't the mass shooting that the news would like you to believe it is.

it seems that 1 innocent bystander was killed and for that i am very very sorry

but lets not stereotype the entire city because of this...

/end.

-r.

*update*: cnn originally reported that 1 innocent bystander was killed this morning. that was obviously WRONG...much of what cnn reported initially was wrong actually...

its been 2 weeks...

& if i could stay in this bed & watch season 1 of girls over & over & over & over...i would.

that has nothing to do with how my time here in boston is going
but
maybe it does.

if i was in new york what would i be doing right now?

1. i'd still be at work because that store doesnt close until 8pm & i'd still be there straightening bags & hating life
but its thursday so maybe i would be out going out or something after
but
maybe i'd just be going home to crawl into bed hoping to stay there until something amazing was going to happen.

i'm always waiting for something amazing to happen.

everyone keeps asking me the same thing "how are you liking it so far?"
& i honestly don't know. i have no answer for that. i don't think i've given it a chance yet. i've definitely spent more time in bed, in & out of sleep, watching sportscenter than i have been out & about trying to get to know this place.

i've gotten into this really bad routine of just: eat, sleep, work
that i told myself i wouldn't do because the entire point of this move was to escape complacency.

i have just a few more weeks before classes start & then who knows what i'll have time for
so i've got to get out of this funk.

obviously im a ball of emotions and feelings and blah and blah
&
obviously i've taken to eating those feelings.
im about 3/4 of the way through a rather large container of blue bunny birthday cake ice cream & i'm kind of scared for my health.

living on this 3rd floor will definitely help but seriously i need to stop because soon i won't be able to fit into any of my clothes & i really cant afford to buy any new ones

i hope my next post is a bit more informative/relate-able & a lot less rambling twenty something.

-r.

Allston, Ma

it took awhile, but the 6 garbage bags i had spilling out of my closet are finally gone. everything seems to be in its place.
just maybe 2 more quick trips to the supermarket & i'll be as settled as anyone can be after an out of state move.

i'm going to skip over the emotional breakdown i almost had when i got lost on my way home from trader joe's with 2 bags of groceries.
why is it impossible to pick up a cab on the street here?
fortunately, i just did what any rational person would do & reverse my direction. my phone's gps was just trying to mess with me i guess...

i digress.

there is a branch of the public library right across the street from me. i woke up this morning afternoon looking most forward to running over there & signing up for a library card. i can't wait!

i've been doing a lot of walk around - which has been difficult in this 92+ degree weather but today is a nicer day & i have a few more things to pick up at the supermarket.

its amazing how much space one can get for such a low cost when you're outside of new york city.
i feel like any day now someone is gonna tell me that i owe 3x the amount of what we're actually being charged for this place. its amazing.

walk in closet? yes...i could live in there if i wanted to. i've already considered turning it into a safe room.

being within walking distance of harvard is pretty cool. lots to do & see over in that area...theres an urban outfitters! & tons of food. shopping & food are 2 of my favorite things.

hmmm what else?

and in the other direction? over on harvard ave? theres a buffalo exchange & more food! food & thrift shopping are 2 of my favorite thingsssss

so far i've been asked a lot if im liking it so far...its kind of too early to tell. i kinda still just feel like im visiting. i'm starting work tomorrow & school in a month so that will make all the difference.

all i can say so far is that i'm definitely not in jamaica, queens anymore...

oh!
&!
i had a sushi roll called the "green monster" yesterday & i wanted to hate it, but i couldn't...it was too good. i'll just have to rename it something yankees related ; )

a presto!

r.